The girl without a name

Do you ever have those times when you hear, see, or learn of something and instantly you feel splagchnizomai? Splagchnizomai is the Greek word for compassion. It means to ache from your bowels with compassion, love, and pity. To break down and cry because of the pain you feel for someone. Jesus is often caught with this feeling after seeing the broken, the sick, the weary.

Me? I feel it sometimes unfortunately for me I remember all of the times I have felt like this. The reason I say unfortunately is because the reason I remember is because it only rarely happens. Often I am to caught up in my cynical ways to open my heart to what God is doing.

But I felt it tonight.

It beautiful feeling. Not enjoyable, but beautiful. It's a painful, angry, sad feeling. The only thing that feels right is to cry. It sucks, but it is so beautiful because in that moment I know how God feels toward humans, towards me. It's a moment of understandings just how much "God so loved the world".

I do not know her name, but she was around 5 I reckon, in kindergarden is all I know. She was precious. It was pajama day at school, so she wore her pink pajamas proudly in the mall. She had beautiful black hair in two braid down pass her shoulders. And rosy red cheeks, as if jack frost had given them a kiss. She came in my store with her grandma, great grandma, and a cousin who was dressed in pink also. She and her cousin bounced around the store while her grandmas shopped. I don't know how it came up, but somehow the topic of how her dad had run off with another women leaving her mom with her and a unborn baby.

"Shit-head", "I could be that guy", "That girl is worth way too much to be fatherless". All these thoughts filled my mind. Splagchnizomai filled my gut. It hurt. I just wanted to give her a hug and tell her she was loved, then beat her father into his senses for hurting such a precious thing.

Whenever Jesus felt compassion it was followed by an act: Healing the broken; feeding the hungry; cleaned the dirty. I could only pray. Pray that God reveal himself to her, protect her, and keep her from the evil one. And thank Him. Thank Him for loving me, that even though the world is broken He is fixing me, thank Him that there is a hope of a better life.

I love God. This world is broken, but He gives me hope. And as I sit here wanting to cry for the fatherless child I am filled with Joy that God is a father who will never leave us and He crying with me.

This world is broken, but GOD IS GOOD. I want nothing more to feel like this everyday; in pain, but with joy.